‘Home' after the kids are gone

Smart Moves

Ellen James Martin

Harvard University Professor Daniel Gilbert has a message for those who think parents are unhappy once their kids have grown up and moved away from home: In most cases, it's just not true.

“The data suggest that empty-nesters feel pretty darn good. They still love their kids. But they're free in a way they haven't been since their 20s,” says Gilbert, a psychologist and author of the new book, “Stumbling on Happiness,” which covers the scientific research on what makes people happy.

Finally released from the time-consuming day-to-day activities of parenting, Gilbert says empty-nesters “suddenly find all kinds of things they can do with their freedom.” This opens many new options -including the prospect of redefining the ideal housing situation.

Mark Nash, a real estate broker and author, says many empty-nesters are drawn to the attractions of in-town living. An increasing number are trading their suburban homes for condo-apartments in a city-like place studded with amenities, such as high-end restaurants.

“I call them the ‘new age boomers.' They're searching for a new way of defining themselves. And where they live is a big and personal part of this,” Nash says.

Of course, many couples have no interest in selling the family home after the kids leave. They continue to enjoy the pleasures of a garden or well-equipped home workshop.

But Nash says many others, determined to redefine their lifestyles now that their kids are grown, seek liberation from the demands of a high-maintenance house.

Here are several tips for empty-nesters contemplating a major housing shift:

• Ponder the pros and cons of vertical living. Some of the benefits of moving from a traditional suburban house to a luxury condo-apartment are obvious.

You're likely to give up many upkeep responsibilities, including yard work. In some buildings, you'll enjoy a well-equipped fitness center, pool and club room. As well, you could gain the services of a concierge - someone willing to get you theater tickets, arrange restaurant reservations and deal with your dry cleaning.

But as Nash notes, there are also drawbacks to apartment-style living. “You'll have to do a lot of schlepping. If you park in an underground garage, for example, you'll have to haul your groceries up in an elevator. Then maybe you'll realize you left your reading glasses in the car and have to go back down,” Nash says.

Also, as Nash says, apartment-style living requires a degree of social interaction that some who've lived in detached houses don't appreciate. “You'll always be encountering other people in the hallways and elevators,” he says.

Before embarking on a dramatic housing move, it's prudent to discuss the pros and cons with friends who've made a similar transition, says Nash, author of ? Tips for Buying and Selling a Home.”

• Look into the realities of parking and traffic in the new area. Are you accustomed to a large garage and plentiful parking near the house where you live? If so, Nash says you'll want to investigate the extent of available parking near any condo-apartment building you're considering.

Too often, people think only of the parking that would be available to them at the new building. They don't factor in the parking needs of their grown children and the friends who'll come by to see them.

Another potential obstacle to your happiness in the new building could be traffic jams and noise. “Before you commit to the move, you'll want to check out parking and traffic at various times throughout the week, including rush hour periods and weekend evenings,” Nash says.

• Get wise to the relative security of a new area. Perhaps you've been lucky and have lived for years on a suburban cul-de-sac where crime hasn't been an issue. But are you likely to enjoy the same freedom from untoward incidents in your new location?

Of course, there are no guarantees. Still, Nash urges you to call or visit the local police station to pick up statistical reports and possibly to talk with officers on duty there. What counts, he says, is not only the volume of incidents that occur in an area, but the types of crimes that commonly happen there.

• Consider a suburban “town center” over a more urban setting. Nash, who counts many suburban empty-nest homeowners among his real estate clients, says most are not well-suited to a drastic change in lifestyle, such as a move to the downtown core of a city.

“If you're going to sell that big-square-footage suburban house, you're often better off moving to the second ring out from the urban center rather than going all the way to that old downtown hub,” Nash says.

Developers are increasingly aware of the demand for luxury condos in suburban towns that are attractive to people with grown children. And they're doing their best to meet the need for such buildings, he says.

“The great thing is that these couples often don't have to move more than a couple of miles from their old familiar turf to get an entirely new lifestyle that makes them happy,” Nash says.

To contact Ellen James Martin, e-mail her at ellenjamesmartin(at)gmail.com.